The Lid Lube Lab: Where Tech, AI & Cannabis Collide – Issue #5

March 04, 2025

🔥 Lid Lube Lab – Issue #5: "Hacking Ozempic, Grinders & The Clean Revolution" 🔥

Welcome back to the most prestigious, totally peer-reviewed, and highly unscientific publication on the internet—Lid Lube Lab! 🧪🔬 This week, we’re diving into cleanliness, science, and why your grinder probably has a more sophisticated maintenance routine than your phone.

Buckle up. Let's get into it.

What I was listening to while I made this today:

---

🌀 1. Mind-Blowing Grinder Fact of the Week

Did you know? The first known cannabis grinder was patented in 1905 by a guy named William Henry Wingfield. Patent number 795,796

This dude straight-up invented the blueprint for every grinder we use today! Imagine rolling into 1905 with a freshly kief-coated grinder and trying to explain to people what it does.

🗣️ “No, no, this isn’t for pepper! It’s for my…uh…medicinal herbs.”

📜 Fast forward 119 years, and now we have Lid Lube making grinders smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy!

Let’s all take a moment to thank Mr. Wingfield for his contribution to society. 🙏

---

📍 2. UV Light Phone Sanitizer, The PhoneSoap

Here's something I didn't know I need until I saw it! Have you ever stopped to consider where you put your phone down, day in and day out. Without ever actually cleaning it... Ever.. Well not anymore! PhoneSoap is this handy little UV light box you put your phone into and it blasts it with UV while its charging. Problem solved. Takes about 10 minutes to eliminate 99.99% of germs! You can also disinfect all kinds of other stuff such as your keys, wallets, headphones, jewelry, glasses, and more. For $40 bucks, this is a gem!

It makes you want to throw our filthy phone into a UV light chamber immediately.

---

🧐 3. Myth vs. Fact: "Can I Use Olive Oil Instead of Lid Lube?"

We've heard it all. Some brave souls (or reckless individuals) have tried using olive oil, coconut oil, and even butter on their grinders. To those people, we say:

🚨 STOP. PUT THE BUTTER DOWN. 🚨

Here’s why:
❌ Olive oil goes rancid – Your grinder will end up smelling like an expired salad dressing.
❌ Coconut oil solidifies – Ever tried grinding with a coconut-flavored rock?
✅ Lid Lube, on the other hand, is non-toxic, non-gunky, and 100% cold-pressed hemp seed oil, meaning NO residue, NO stickiness, and NO funky smells.

So unless you want your grinder to smell like a failed cooking experiment, stick with the good stuff.

---

🤯 4.Big Food Is Trying To Hack Ozempic?!

Big Food is engineering food to bypass the appetite-suppressing effects of Ozempic and other GLP-1 drugs.

Mattson, a food lab in Northern California run by Justin Shimek, PhD, has spent nearly 50 years developing and scaling food products, generating billions in revenue. Now, Big Food is asking them to reformulate ingredients so their products override GLP-1 drug effects.

Why? People on weight loss drugs are buying less food. Walmart CEO John Feer told Bloomberg that GLP-1 users are purchasing fewer units and calories, cutting into profits. The New York Times reports a decline in snack and baked goods sales, leaving food execs scrambling.

In response, companies are designing "GLP-1 optimized" products—a euphemism for making food even more addictive. This is all happening in secret. When asked, Shimek refused to name the companies involved, saying, “We are professional secret keepers.”

---

🛑 5. The Grinder Crimes You’re Probably Guilty Of

We see you. We know what you’re doing. And it’s time to confess.

🚔 Grinder Crimes:

• First-degree neglect: Never cleaning your grinder and wondering why it’s harder to turn than a 100-year-old door hinge.
• Grind-and-dump: Crushing a fresh batch and immediately spilling it everywhere like a chaotic gremlin.
• The over-pack struggle: Jamming so much in your grinder that it locks up completely, forcing you to pry it open like a treasure chest.
• Kief-hoarding: Collecting kief for years, waiting for the perfect moment to use it… which never comes.

👀 If you’ve committed any of these crimes, don’t worry—we forgive you. Just do your grinder a favor and hit it with some Lid Lube before the authorities get involved.

---

🔥 That’s it for this week’s Lid Lube Lab! 🔥

We’ve covered grinder science, UV light wizardry (PhoneSoap goes here), and the fact that William Henry Wingfield deserves a posthumous Nobel Prize.

Stay smooth. Stay lubed. Stay legendary. 🛠️💨

🔗 Got a squeaky grinder? Fix it in seconds: Here!

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Name *

Email *

Comment *

---

Also in The Lid Lube Lab